- Beliefs: Origin of Modalities
- A Christmas Miracle
A Christmas Miracle
Robyn, I lost my hearing in both ears the second week of November 1972. A few days later my mom took me to my Ear, Nose, Throat doctor. After several hours of testing he said I was deaf and would never hear again. My mom got up, grabbed me by the arm and hustled us out of the office. In the car she started bawling and I knew what that meant. I threw the biggest tantrum in my life; I knew the diagnosis was wrong, wrong, WRONG!
Back home, my father said nothing of my Mom's obvious emotional state as I skulked teary-eyed to my bedroom. My older brother and younger sister didn't care, they just made fun of me more. Jr. High was intolerable. In my heart, the most disturbing part of everything is how others treated me, how they made me feel on top of no love in my family. A single bright spot that brings tears to me still: a beautiful black cheerleader named Lisa Wayne smiled at me, touched me. That calmed the bewildering storm inside.
As Christmas approached, my siblings took great pride in displaying their cruelty by shaking my presents near their ear and mouthing things like "I know what this is, ha ha ha, you don't!" On Christmas morning I drew the short straw, so I watched my siblings open their presents first. When it was my turn I half-heartedly pulled the wrapping paper off. My brother grabbed a bunch of it and squeezed it by my ear. Wait, did I hear that? Or did my mind 'ghost' the sound of it?
I picked up some of it and crunched it by my ear—wait! I do hear it! I ran down the nearby stairs to my bedroom, shoved new batteries into my dusty hearing aids and voila! I could hear again! I raced upstairs shouting "I can hear! I can hear!" Instead of excitement I was met with tepid, nonchalant looks. My older brother didn't believe me; he wondered aloud if I had been faking it all along while my 10 year old sister giggled for no reason at all.
This was another brick in the wall that pulled me away from my family emotionally-mentally. Spiritually, well, no one but me belongs there, so I never discussed with anyone how the walls around my heart were built, so I didn't know that everyone has something to overcome. I thought it was just me.
A week ago I was reminded of that Christmas miracle, how good it made me feel about me, how it convinced me that there is indeed and powerful, invisible force called God that is completely independent of my family. I was reminded that "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." In order for Love to do those powerful things it must be as powerful as gravity, and be able to act upon it. To Love someone unconditionally, to show kindness without regard to any circumstances, is to affect the invisible realms and to cause one to believe on it no matter how one prefers to label it. To place any conditions or requirements on yourself or others creates a disease in their spirit that can be fixed only through miracles.
Really. You and me, we can't even fathom that anymore than the disciples who were living under hundreds of year of oppression by their ultra-conservative leaders who saw miracles as a threat to their power and income. Still, the disciples performed miracles. Still, they had a difficult time because they couldn't figure out how this miracle stuff worked. It went against everything they learned from the Pharisees. So many damned rules to follow! After one particularly 'wowza!' miracle, Jesus tells the disciples in so many words that utterly impossible things are in fact possible if one believes. No other requirements. Just believe and it shall be done for you.
The 12 year old me? I fucking knew it! I knew that the diagnosis was wrong! I knew it wasn't my destiny. I didn't have anything to back that up nor did I even need to. The disciples did, though. Jesus knew they needed a miracle themselves to overcome the spiritual damage they endured at the hands of their religious leaders, so he chose the seemingly most impossible thing to convey the power of belief. "You can say to this mountain 'be removed and cast into the sea' and if you do not doubt, it. shall. be. done. for. you." You don't do it, it shall be done for you. The only requirement: believe. Jesus didn't even imply 'believe in God'. Just believe and it shall be done for you.
So, miracles. They temporarily suspend the laws of physics. Nobody knows how, but they do. We are to do greater miracles than Jesus, but nobody believes this because we're over-saturated with rules, regulations, and contemporary Conservatives over-emphasizing obedience to laws as conditions to receive God's blessings. I call this "transactionalism" because that's what it is: you do this, God will do that.
Compounding the unbelief of contemporary Conservatives are the utterly hypocritical politicians telling us what we can and cannot do. If you're not happy with any aspect of the digital enslavement, then take heart because this is the exact environment that Jesus did his work in. Daily miracles of all kinds were the norm. But because people had a difficult time believing what they were witnessing every day, the focus is on the miracles associated with Jesus because he did some mind-blowing things. Yet we have completely lost sight of the fact that we are to do greater works than he did. Really. Greater than raising a 3-day-dead man back to life. Greater than healing the blind, greater than stopping epileptic seizures. How? That's not your responsibility. All you have to do is believe that it's possible for no reason whatsoever.
So this is what I encourage you to do: think about the times you were hurt by family and others. Ignore that whole 'forgive and forget' stuff because what you need is healing in your spirit before you can have healing in your body-mind-heart. Physical sickness is a symptom of invisible causes. It can be healed by believing it can be healed. Don't turn away, look again, look for patterns of feelings and thoughts that have followed you all your life. That's your mountain. Tell that mountain to be removed from your spirit. It shall be done for you.
Believe and it shall be done for you.